How much do you love your Mama?

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together.

They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes... She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
Luv ya,Mama

Snausages....

30 Things Never to Say to a Naked Man

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the 'early bird'.

I've Had It... Enter Primal Scream Here !!!!!!!!

Exxon chief made $144,573 per day:
Last Update: 12:07 PM ET Apr 15, 2006

WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) -- Lee Raymond, the chairman and chief executive officer of Exxon Mobil Corp., earned $144,573 for each day of the 13 years he served at the top of the oil company, according to a report in Saturday's New York Times.
Raymond, who retired from Exxon in December, received more than $686 million from 1993 to 2005, according to an analysis done for the paper by an independent compensation consultant.
Raymond received more that $400 million in the final year of his contract.
Shareholder activists, consumer groups and corporate governance experts were taken aback by the details of the package.
Raymond declines to comment for the report.

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WHAT THE F&%@ ???

I call bullshit on this... my Dad lost everything but his pride when the oil industry went bust and now the rest of the country is just bending over and taking it in the bum... There are salary caps in football to keep the game fair... why are there not salary caps to keep the general public's life fair. Believe me, gas prices affect a hell of a lot more people than football.

Of course, the government wants gas to cost more since the sales tax revenue on gas goes up. I agree with Malinda777. WE THE PEOPLE NEED TO STAND UP AND LET THE MAJORITY RULE !!!!!! The minority can kiss my a$$ because this is a land where the Majority is supposed to call the shots. And it does when it suits the needs of the politicians, such as elections... then a small minority starts to complain... i.e. prayer in schools, immigration, the right to eat a BLT without the "T"... and the minority gets the privelege.

MAJORITY RULES... MINORITY ADJUSTS !!!!

You drain the economy of my government for free health care and education... Go back home... are you too good for your home? If you want to come to America there are a number of ways to do it legally. That is what our country was based on... so get used to it !!!!! If you don't like it, GO HOME. I didn't ask you to come here and You march and hold signs that say that you are not a criminal...

IF YOU BREAK THE LAW... YOU
ARE A CRIMINAL !!!

You immigrate illegally and you take food out of my child's mouth, medicine out of his body... if you don't like it where you are, change it... but don't expect me to subsidize you. Be a man and provide for your family without breaking the law... otherwise, I have no problem paying the gas on an un-airconditioned bus to send you back home. Want it - work for it - Don't steal it.

WHY ARE WE NOT MARCHING !!!!!

I am sick and tired of hearing of the marches in every major city in the United States having immigrants gather in the 10's to 500,000 in attendance. Why are we not marching to support the law? Do those of us that are law abiding citizens just not care as much as they do??? Why are we not marching??? I agree that every illegal immigrant and anyone that supports them should be deported or penalized, whichever applies. Why are we not marching??? If this legislation does not pass, it will be a green light for illegals to come on over, there's nothing we'll do to stop them. Why are we not marching??? Many jobs that used to be profitable trades, have become near minimum wage due to illegal immigrants working for less. Why are we not marching??? Jobs such as machinists, carpenters and aircraft maintenance - YES, the people that bang around on your precious 747 that takes you from point A to point B in your busy day is maintained by many illegals. Are you thinking of marching now???

The other side needs to be heard... We need to stand up for our country and say that we will not support you any longer. You will not be a drain on our economy and government. You will not come here and take jobs out of our citizens hands. As a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee you that the ones marching aren't even the ones that have come and taken these jobs... why? They didn't have time because they have a J-O-B. So that goes to show how many immigrants we have that are such a huge drain on our economy... In California, 1/2 million people without jobs got together for a huge welfare party.

You are welcome to come in a legal manner, but do it right. If you do it wrong, it is Illegal, illegal, illegal. You are a criminal the moment you cross that border, and I have no problem treating you as one once you do.

WHY ARE WE NOT MARCHING !!!!!

Let's organize and do this already... pass this link on to everyone you know and make this the forum to get things done. Let our voice be heard !!!!!!!!!