Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Posting this from my blackberry from my hospital bed... Spousal Abuse...

How To Be A Good Wife
Feel free to leave your comments... I WILL post them later.

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.

During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.

Be happy to see him.

Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

Don't greet him with complaints and problems.

Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.

Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

A good wife always knows her place.

The nurse says that I can use the morphine pump whenever I want for the pain.

The cops say I can't go back to the house because of something called a "Straining Order".... I don't even like spaghetti !!!!

The lawyer says that I am going to have to get used to the idea of living in an apartment since she'll probably get the house.

My buddy that sent me "The Rules" just sent me an email telling me how stupid I was to let the woman in on our "lil joke"

And the voices in my head are speaking up again, but like I've said... the speak spanish... and I don't.

OK.. a little morphine... and i shuld be ok... it rilly helpz wit thi pane an i rully donioon car bout ol tttthhhiizz... jfd jsjet as-r5m.,,.defl;ajgvamx

1 comment:

Malinda777 said...

Too funny. My husband is gone on a month long trip with his best friend, and I commented to him, "I can't wait til my laundry bitch comes back home". I had no idea how much he really helps out 'til he was gone. Maybe you could share your morphine with me later :)