Today's News In Your Nut Shell

(Gulf News)
Who wants to rent a "Sex Doll"

(Some Guy)
Top 30 mistakes made by new Mac users (with cliche goodness)

(Gainesville Sun)
Mohammed cartoon controversy finally silly enough to warrant "Florida" tag

(Some Guy)
Delta Airlines subliminally giving your kids a bit of teh ghey

(TSN.ca)
Reports surfacing that Wayne Gretzky had prior knowledge of illegal gambling ring. Canada declares state of emergency

(LGN)
Theme: AudioEdit a high school speech gone wrong

(WFTV)
Man who went wild on "Girls Gone Wild" creator given 11 years in prison

(Bozeman Chronicle)
Today's "U.S. senator edits his Wikipedia entry to delete reference to Arabs as 'ragheads'" story brought to you by Montana's Conrad Burns

(Daily Record)
Scotland announces a sword-dropoff amnesty program. Highlander and Kurgan get ready for the ultimate slap-fight

(Staffordshire Sentinel)
"Your garden looks great." "Thanks. The octopus are coming in especially nice this year"

(Hindustan Times)
Moby is mad that Bush is cutting education spending, and you might be mad too, but you're not getting in a paper because you're not famous

(National Journal)
National Journal: Cheney authorized Plame leak. Cheney: Go f*ck yourself

(NewsWatch50)
Japan marketing whale-blubber burgers to schoolkids

(Theory of People)
"Not safe for work" Fark photoshop by Farker Modified_Dangler shows up in Vancouver Province newspaper

(Boston Herald)
Neil Entwistle, who fled the U.S. after his web porn fraud empire came crashing down and his family was shot to death, has been arrested in England for murder. (Note: Victim was attractive, young, white, suburban woman)

(AL.com)
When you see a headline like "Retarded man can't ride moped again," you have this desire to find out why

(Green Discharge)
Fark Atlanta Party: Just under two months away. It's a biggun. DIT

(Courier Journal)
Louisville to add a skyscraper with a design apparently inspired by the arcologies from SimCity 2000

(ctv.ca)
Terri Hatcher wows Grammy crowd with sheer dress. Article contains absolutely no pics, nor links to pics

(West Press)
Terry Pratchett's "Hogfather" to be adapted for TV. HO. HO. HO

(KLFY)
Former FEMA head Michael Brown will tell all about the times he talked to Bush after Katrina, unless the White House gives him one biiiiiilllion dollars

(Some Guy)
In the same vein as the Hampster Dance and the Jesus Dance, here comes the Mohammed Dance

(Jackson News-Tribune)
Woman in Oregon, stuck with her two dogs but no car, decides to walk home. To Texas

(KVBC)
News article: "Could marijuana be legalized in Nevada?" Federal law: "No"

(Some Rube)
Paintings made by dude flinging paint may have been made by impostor paint-flinger

(Egotastic!)
Cover charge for the club: $10. Tips for the stripper: $50. Dannii Minogue's lesbian lapdance: Priceless. (Not safe for work)

(KOTV)
Stolen A.L. Championship ring recovered after seven years, thanks to dumbass and Ebay

(WGRZ)
Man gets attacked by pet fish. Paramedics find victim floundering on floor

(WND)
Woman gets naked and paints herself like a tiger to protest the circus. Onlookers don't know or care why she is protesting, just happy for the boobies (safe for work)

(Action news)
No one ever expects to be attacked with a dead raccoonsicle, especially in Florida (with video)

(KMBC)
News anchor is smart enough to not give his credit card information to scam artists who couldn't spell "possible" or "fraud"

(Some Guy)
Your favourite cartoon characters stripped down literally to their bare bones. Unusual idea, fascinating results (safe for work)

(Billboard)
Barry Manilow tops Billboard chart. Four Horsemen seen riding toward the copacabana

(Some God-Banger)
Theme: Differing religions settling their differences like street gangs