I Met My Wife In The Blue Lagoon

For those that know us.... this is the story of our lives.

It always makes me cry... but in a good way.

http://www.stage6.com/user/DiamondRay/video/1774589/Brooke-Shields---The-Blue-Lagoon

Hindsight is 20/20

If I could do that special day over again, I would have done this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QGLbd6Wffc

X-MAS MY ASS

Ok, now here's my beef with people that want to have a "Holiday" season, but not call it christmas.

If you're putting a tree inside your home, decorating it, and then running 120 volts of electricity through it, the you are celebrating CHRISTMAS!!!

I know the first half of a couple that has a weird relationship. He is not really religious and she is Wiccan. So they say that they celebrate Yuletide... Gah... They have 2 kids, They put up a tree, they wrapped gifts, they did everything that our families do in our family traditions that celebrate the birth of Christ. They probably thought of that, because they opened gifts last night, which they say means they are not celebrating Christmas, but they do not want their kids to miss out.

OK... here is the inteligence behind that logic.

Bob: Hey there, Sam. I hear your birthday is coming up.
Sam: Yup, my own special day to celebrate my birth.
Bob: Hey, uh, Sam, I was wonderin' what you do to celebrate your birthday.
Sam: Nothin' really. My old lady makes me meatloaf, the kids go to bed early, and I get some.
Bob: you are shit'in me.... you just have a day that you get to have as your own special day?
Sam: Well, yeah.
Bob: Cool...

[Bob Calls Wife On Her Cell Phone]

Bob: Ok... here's the deal, Sam's birthday is on March 12th... On March 12th, I want you to make me a meatloaf, put the kids to bed, and give me some... And I am going to call it MyDay and we are going to do it on March 10th... just to piss everybody off.
Wife: Why don't you just fuck yourself and get a life.

You know what?

If you don't like the CHRIST in Christmas, then refuse your holiday vacation, and if you can't, refuse the extra pay that you are paid to work that day.

Maybe if you worked on Christmas day, I might have a few aethists to work on Christmas Day when my wife forgot the chicken broth for the stuffing.

But if you don't know Christ, try him out sometime.

He has good weed.

I wanna sell you a Kia ! 0 - o

Kat and I wentto a "Brand Name" used car dealership to see what we might qualify for when we can afford a second car.

Here is the offer the salesman made on a car that Kat, in wonderful response to my evil grin communication with her, said that she liked most of all.

They took us back into the execution chamber... er... sales office and gave us the following proposal....


2004 Kia Optima 4C 2.4L
4D Sedan LX
Aluminum/Silver
Miles: 67,504
Sales Price: $14,157
APR: 21.44%


I grinned at him and told him that i will do my research and get back with him... and get back with him I did.

I was already well aware that I was dealing with a shark when the incredulous 21.44% interest came into play. That's a deal breaker right there.

But I also knew that $14K was about what those damn things cost BRAND NEW !!!

So, I decided to ride this bull a couple of more seconds and look it up in the Kelley Blue Book.

This is what I sent him, and what he sent back... Incredible.

Kevin,

After researching the proposal for the 2004 Kia Optima, the main problem I have right off is that Kelley Blue Book lists this vehicle at $9,085 in Excellent condition.

That is a far cry from $14,157.

When we do something about this, then we can proceed further.


Kevin replied by saying:

Here at DriveTime we do not price our cars off Kelly [Notice he spells Kelley wrong] Blue Book or NADA. We are able to use our own financing so [Notice the lack of usage of common punctuation marks, such as commas] that allows us to price our cars at the current market value of this area. In saying that we will not say we are the lowest place in town, but we are at the current market value. Unfortunately we are not able to negotiate on our prices. Our prices also reflect the reconditioning cost we put into our cars like maintenance, detail, warranty, ect. Other dealerships (including Kelly Blue Book) that show lower prices on car do not include warranty or a up to 53 point inspection. Those cars are "as is" type of cars.

Thanks,
Kevin Heatley

So, Basically, you are telling me that the rules don't apply to you, because you are able to itemize your excessive pricing?

Will Kevin get my business?

He could have, had he made his response more cordial rather than defensive.
You can say that you had to clean the fucking car to get the smell of weed out of it!!
It is a 3-year old car.... 60+K miles,,, uhm this camel has been ridden so hard, if it wasn't a rental, it doesn't have toes.

And the guy really felt like a jerk before he made the offer, when he had to Jump Start the fucking car because "Someone Left The HEadlights On.".... um, dude, one of the selling features of the standard features of that vehicle is that it turns the headlights off automatically after a few minutes.

He could have been a salesman and figured out what we could compromise on, even if it meant a different vehicle.
No, dumb as Kevin was to have lost the sale on his own, the sale was lost not because a guy is just being a corporate robot.
No, The lost sale was not because of Kevin, alone.
Dude's just doing his job.
But DriveTime, and this is entirely my opinion, takes advantage of the little guy.
They are no different from the rickety outfits you see that have 5 cars on the lot and police tape around the entrance.

I will let my big sister have the last word...

"You are what you make yourself, little brother."

Your Credit Report Card.. Should You Pay?

Being someone who is trying to clean up some credit report errors, I am annoyed at the fact that Congress amended the The Fair Credit Reporting Act {FCRA) to allow consumers to get a free annual copy of their credit report, but still allows the Credit Reporting Agencies to charge you for the most important thing... your credit score... your grade.

The only time you EVER have to pay for YOUR INFORMATION is when dealing with the Credit Reporting Agencies.

This cost should be shouldered by those who depend on this information from a marketer or vendor point of view. They have much more to gain from the information, monetarily, than I.

And this is my personal information... why do I not have at least "Read Only" access.

Any comments?

Welcome To The 80's Public School Music Class

My mother wondered why I got an "F" in music class.

She knew I could sing, but I imformed her that they were not teaching music... they were teaching "Break Dancing."

My mum tore them a new hole....

Ok.... grab a tissue....

Having never been a guy that was ashamed to cry, I get choked up at alot of things... this one made me cry and decide to make another trip to the Welcome Home a Hero at the DFW Airport before school starts.

I lost the encoder, so you'll just have to click on the link... let me know how it affected you. Here is the link....

To: My First Born

Zachary helped me tonight....

A co-worker of mine went into a major seizure at work tonight.

No one else in the office knew what to do.

But Zachary has tought me alot in 10 years.

I handled the situation the same way I deal with Zachary's seizures.

And I'm proud of the two comments that I got from co-workers afterwards.

1. Dude, you acted just like a freakin' paramedic... Like on C.O.P.S. !!!

2. That was sweet the way you kept reassuring him even though he was unconcious.

Thank you, Zachary.

You have taught me more than I can ever teach you.


P.S. By the way, not that it relates here, but if you didn't already know, the American Heart Association CPR Training guidelines have changed. Contact your local CPR instructor to make sure you know how to save a life.
Tonight wasn't a case where I needed that training, but it reminded me of how it very well could have been.
Learn how to save a life, maybe even your own.

A VERY talented young Bass...

Chek out his other videos on YouTube... I'm a sucker for the blues.

It only looks like he's lypsynching because he has a good mixer.

I could SO see Q-man doing this...

Even though the only games I ever took my nephew, ZQ, were his brother's basketball games where he was more interested in flirting with the girls than the game.

And even though ZQ wasn't quarterback. he saw more playtime than the QB.

But if he were QB, this would be a play that he would make.

Luv ya, Champ!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/29651/

OH MY GOD !!! I'm Homer Simpson..!!!!

Only I have a degree and know better than to drink more than my body mass in beer. You have to stop drinking about two beers before that in order to leave room for the foamy gaseous bubbles.

But anyway, I came to the sad realization that I am Homer, and my son Matthew is Bart... God help us !!!

Mothers and Sons

Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat's milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing.

"This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now."

"Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully.

"He's a martyr now though" mum confides.

"Oh, so sad, dear" says the other.

"And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21."

"Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born".

"He's a martyr too" says mum quietly.

"Oh, gracious me ..." says the other.

"And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18", she whispers.

"Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school".

"He's a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says ......

"They blow up so fast, don't they?"

Another "They Stole My Idea" moment

Being a guy that appreciates the painstaking process that it takes for women to paint their toenails... I find it sexy.

But it takes alot of work to do a good job if you are doing it yourself.... something I have learned since I've been married.

So, I thought... " why not create a "Press-On"-type product that would apply an even coat on any nail.... finger or toe... then I quickly talked mysel out of it.... then tonight I see this when I come home...

http://shop.avon.com/shop/product.asp?pf_id=31313&from=search&find_spec=&camp=200715&dir_delivery=1&rep_delivery=1

OK... so I like this song, too.... HEY, you choose to check out this blog....

Can somebody please tell me why I like this song ????

Environmentalists and Corporate America Screws Small Town

My parents' small hometown was promised an Electric Plant by TXU, and had the rug pulled out from under them....

Let me also note that the reason that there is a comment in the story about how pharmacist Rick Perkin is against the city growth proposal.... HE'S ONE OF ONLY TWO OTHER MOM & POP PHARMACIES IN TOWN.... They want to grow the city, but not so that it gets big enough to peak the interest of Walgreen's or CVS. Perkins saw this as a threat to his business and not a health concern.

A coal plant will not hurt West Texas. Hell, pumping oil out of the ground does more damage to the atmosphere than burning coal. God made coal in order for someone to burn it! Otherwise we'd call it water.... or rock... or anything but coal.




The following is a story published in the Abilene Reporter News... if I have broken any laws by reprinting this story, please be advised that I am a married father of two and am the sole bread winner for my family. I earn just enough to get by, and currently have a $200 payday loan, and my Fender Strat and Selmer Tenor Sax are in the pawn shop... I also have a debt listed on my credit report that reflects that I owe Blockbuster $1.27... of which I still cannot pay off.... By the way... I kid you not.... Blockbuster is willing to settle my debt if I pay them 50% of the balance.... NICE TRY !!!! Good thing I was smarter than they were or they would have scammed me good.... See, 50% of $1.27 is 63.5 cents... That's 63 and 1/2 cents.... I went to the bank to get a loan, and they told me that there was no such thing as 1/2 of a cent.... nice try Corporate America.

Colorado City stunned by end of coal plant plans
Sidney Levesque / levesques@reporternews.com
Tuesday, February 27, 2007

COLORADO CITY - Residents in Mitchell County's largest town are stunned by news that TXU Corp. has scrapped plans to build a coal-fired electricity plant that was expected to pump millions of dollars into the local economy.

''It was a big shock. We didn't expect that to happen,'' said Earl Plagens, publisher of the Colorado City Record.

As part of a $32 billion bid for energy supplier TXU, the investor group led by Kohlberg Kravis Roberts & Co. and Texas Pacific Group agreed to drop plans for eight of 11 proposed new coal-burning power plants in an effort to appease environmentalists concerned about burning coal.

TXU had announced it would replace a natural gas plant at Mor gan Creek at nearby Lake Colorado City with a coal-fired plant.

Colorado City leaders who anticipated an influx of jobs and building construction - they had already bought land for future housing and hotels - say they are disappointed that it won't happen, a least for now, but are trying to stay positive.

On the plus side, the possibility of a coal-burning plant pushed them to clean up Colorado City, which is about 70 miles west of Abilene and has a population of 4,281. Old buildings were torn down, and the city is moving forward with historic downtown renovations. Mayor Jim Baum said the city had already spent some money in engineering fees getting ready for the plant's construction.

''Some of that money was for our water system, and we needed to do that anyway,'' he said.

The proposed coal plant, however, which seemed like almost a done deal as recently as last week, was expected to give a city whose major employers are two prisons, the school district and a hospital a big economic shot in the arm. Colorado City expected to see 1,000 construction jobs, and 85 permanent jobs.

As soon as the plant was announced, it generated excitement. Some residents bought stock in TXU. People started buying up land for development and old houses to remodel and sell. Before the plant was announced, Colorado City had a housing shortage.

And just last week, a TXU official was the featured speaker at the annual Colorado City Area Chamber of Commerce banquet. He told 260 residents - one of the largest groups the banquet has ever had - that he was sure the coal plant would become a reality despite opposition from environmental groups.

His comments made front-page headlines in the Colorado City Record: ''Credibility and truthfulness will win at the end of the day.''

Now that Colorado City won't get the plant, one contractor said the additional homes on the market won't go to waste. He said the wind farms and the oil and gas industry are keeping the real estate market alive.

City leaders said there are other economic development plans to focus on, namely additional wind farms and a new concrete plant.

''We've survived a lot out in this little West Texas town,'' said Sue Lowrance, executive vice president of the Colorado City chamber.

She said TXU officials told her they only found out about the company's plans a few days ago.

''This was as much a shock to the TXU officials we've been dealing with as it was for us,'' Lowrance said.

Another person said that after months of talking and planning for the plant, Colorado City is left feeling like the ''rug has been pulled out from under'' its feet.

''That's corporate America for you,'' said Bruce Gale, a clerk at Higginbotham-Bartlett Co.

The hardware store experienced a 10 to 20 percent surge in business following TXU's announcement about opening a coal-fired plant.

One of Colorado City's few opponents to the coal plant, pharmacist Rick Perkin, said TXU officials were not straightforward when he wanted answers about how the plant would affect the ground, water and air around it.

Perkin, who lives with his wife and 3-year-old twins less than two miles from the plant, said he worried mercury and arsenic would pollute the area.

''We're not going to raise these kids under a coal plant,'' he said.

He said he had no problem with the natural gas plant currently at Morgan Creek. Perkin said that if TXU's new owners still decide to put a new plant in, using a method other than coal, it could greatly benefit the city.

''They can turn the gas back on,'' he said. ''We were all fine with the gas.''

Despite Perkin's concerns, TXU officials said Colorado City expressed more support for a coal plant than any other city under consideration for a new plant. Baum said TXU officials told him to ''hang in there,'' and that the city could be considered if and when TXU plans to build plants in the future.

Tom Kleckner, TXU spokesman, said the company might consider the city for a future wind energy project. Or, the natural gas plant at Morgan Creek might be fully reopened someday.

''There's always a chance we will unmothball a unit because we will still need energy sources in Texas,'' Kleckner said.

Reporter-News staff writer Celinda Emison contributed information for this article.

Come on... it's 4:45am !!!!

OK, let me preface this with the statement "THIS IS NOT A CRY FOR HELP!."

I just got to thinking about why celebreties, from days gone by, tend to crap out early in their career, and die an early death.

I have to say, having once been in a spotlight brighter than many ever see, once that spotlight is gone... you feel empty.

That's the emptiness that these "celebreties" feel.... yes, they have feelings just like you and me... But I lost that spotlight, so I understand exactly how they feel.

The spotlight shows the world your soul... but takes it, in turn, as a toll.

The good thing is, I wake up every morning, and God gives me another chance to give a little bit of a spotlight to everyone I meet that day.

It's best that the spotlight be given, lest you never receive it in turn.

Your thoughts?


Oh... almost forgot... Random Truth Or Dare, where you always get the Truth... I have never told anyone that my favorite childhood show was WKRP... I wonder if that is out in a DVD set yet.

The iPhone... Really?

Thousands camped out at Apple stores and AT&T stores just so they could be one of the first owners of an over-priced phone that will likely be as similar a disappointment as the Razr Phones that everyone just HAD to have two years ago.

The problem is, the Razr phones were very poor phones that were so slimmed down and sleek, that their "cool look" was pretty much all they had going for them.

I have always compared it to putting the body of a Dodge Viper onto the motor and chasis of a Ford Escort. Sure, you'll look "cool" and "cutting edge," but you really just have a crappy car that will spend more time in the shop than on the road.

I just upgraded to a Samsung Sync (red). That's the phone you see pictured, above, except... mine is red... Did I get Red because I wanted a RED phone to support the fightagainst AIDS in Africa... no... I chose red, because my wife wanted red until I said that I liked the blue one... so then she wanted the blue one. So I said I'll just take the red one... now she wants me to swap SIM cards so that she can have the red phone and I can take the blue phone.... Hell to the NO!!! She WANTED red... I said I WANTED blue... she chose to take the blue instead so I took the red and will refuse to swap out of spite.

See, it's funny when you begin to play someone else's game by their rules and then stick to it... Whenever my phone rings, I know that she regrets being an ass.

Anyway, this phone looks basic, but is powerful enough for all my needs, since I never really anticipate watching the movie "300" on a 3-inch screen.

Paris Vs. Dolly

Not really meaning to give Paris anymore publicity... But didn't she look like a much younger Dolly Parton when she appeared on Larry King Live last night?

That apple never falls from the tree.... it just bounces.

Family Tree

Grandfater: Served blacks out of the back door of his restaurant.
Grandmother: She kept a completely functioning beautiful household.
Father: Didn't like me having black friends.
Mother: Saw black men cross the street so that they would not be seen walking near a white girl.
Me: Have black friends.
My kids: Don't have black friends... they have FRIENDS... black, brown, white, and that one kid that forgets to breath.... Blue.

Wife: She has no vision for color.... everybody on earth is CLEAR!, but now she gets scared when a black man walks toward her.

Typical Black Grandfather: Served out the back door of my grandfather's restaurant.
Typical Black Father: Fought for equality.
Typical Black Boy: You owe me, even though I have never done anything to deserve it, like my dad.... and I'm sick and tired of white girls running when I meet them on the sidewalk.


My main point is.... I am colorblind.

But I still have the valid question to ask...

Why is it that 50 years ago, Blacks were afraid to upset the whites, and now some whites are afraid to even look at a black because they fear it might be some kind of tribal death gaze that causes a Drive-By. How is that "better"?

Why don't we all just agree to not be stupid?

Think of how many lives that would save.

By the way... a little "Racial Humor."

BOO !!!

Get it?

I'm white....

....................***SIGH***

....Umm.... wow.... My 8-year-old would take it.

Don't Cry.... I bawled like a baby....

You know, i've been a father of a special child an d a husband of a diabetic wife.... I could lose anybody in a twinkle of an eye, but I worry about Zachary the most....I want zachary to be like Josh Blue.... I cried during this http://www.filecabi.net/video/can1986.html

Hell to the ...YEAH!!!!

http://www.filecabi.net/video/arab-truth.html

And the comics roll on... and eat Spaghetios

OK... so now I will start posting comics that make me laugh... if you don't like it.... fuck off.

Just the good ol' boys... Never meanin' no harm...

Malinda often talks about missing her Great State of Texas....

I'm sure she fndly remembers the rough and tumble ways of the boys down here...

There is a thing in West Texas known as the Red Dirt Rumble...

This is where two young men, usually over the honor of a girl - or lack thereof, square up, kick each other's ass, while taking more punches than many other punks you see fight on the net.

And when all is said and done, it doesn't end with someone dead...

The winner stops when it's obvious he's the Victor, and I'm sure they talked over beers later that night...

I respect these young men, though I don't advocate violence...

To do so, would put me at great risk for being sued... I'm just writing what my sister is thinking... so take it up with her !!!

Sorry, Sis!

Check it out, here... http://www.psfights.com/fight-video-1682.htm

Paris Hilton.... "Special Needs?" I don't think so.

LYNWOOD, Calif. (AP) -- Paris Hilton has reported to a Los Angeles County jail to begin a three-week stay for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

The 26-year-old heiress was booked late Sunday into the Century Regional Detention Facility in an industrial area about five miles southeast of downtown Los Angeles, according to the sheriff's inmate locator Web site.

Though a judge sentenced her to 45 days behind bars, Hilton was expected to serve only 23 days because of a state law that requires shorter sentences for good behavior.

Earlier Sunday, Hilton attended the MTV Movie Awards, where she briefly spoke to reporters about her sentence.

"I am trying to be strong right now," Hilton said. "I'm really scared but I'm ready to face my sentence."

The 13-year-old jail has been an all-female facility since March 2006. The two-story concrete building sits in an industrial neighborhood, beside train tracks and beneath a bustling freeway.

Hilton will be housed in the facility's "special needs" unit.

Officers arrested Hilton in Hollywood on Sept. 7. In January, she pleaded no contest to the reckless-driving charge and was sentenced to 36 months' probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines.

She was pulled over by California Highway Patrol on Jan. 15. Officers informed Hilton she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive. She then was pulled over by sheriff's deputies on Feb. 27, at which time she was charged with violating her probation.

Copyright © 2006 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.

Why Fight Your Brother When You Know You Can Kick Your Brother-In-Law's Ass?

Can I make an open minded comment ????

When it comes to the battle between Israel and Palestine.... I don't know what the truth is.

I am a media professional by trade, and I see all of the different networks and the slants they lean towards.

Compare FOX News to NBC and you are looking at the two different photographic negatives that it takes to make a 3D film.

One side says one thing.... the other side says something different.

When you put the two together in just the right way, you get the whole 3D "true image."

Guys... don't listen to one news station's viewpoint of today's world events.... utilize the internet and get the whole picture.

I spend just as much time on foreign news stations as I do on our national stations.

As far as Iraq is concerned... we are not losing the war in Iraq... the Iraqi nationals are coming around to realize that the non-native jihadists are the instigators.

I mean, really... think about the Revolutionary War.

While involved in that war, we had white slave owners fighting the same war that units of black soldiers fought.
Though they were still too racist to fight WITH the blacks... they still fought the same war.

In Iraq, today, that would be like the whites and the blacks, fighting each other while fighting the common enemy.

If that had happened, we would be worrying about missing tea time right now instead of reading this blog.

As FOX news says... We Report...You Decide... but make sure you get all the views before you decide.

*** VOTE BARACK OBAMA *** .... why?

Why are you asking me?

I told you to decide on your own.... so... go............................. GO!!!

No, don't assume at this point... I could have just brought up Obama in order to piss you off... What are your thoughts?

But I do have to say... when the english speaking guy said that he heard them yelling but could not understand what the armed soldiers were saying.... I would assume they were saying, "If you keep coming this way, we will shoot you."

It helps to understand the language if you are going to support the cause.... you idiot.

But, to my blog readers.... I Love You. ;-)

My Prediction

This BS in Lebanon is going to be the beginning of World War III.

They think we are them....

I have to say, that even though I respect the talents of stump jumpers....These guys are from Kentucky.... I HOPE!!!!

Should I give my son a beer? NO!!!!

The thing I find sad about the following videos is that these guys think they are normal.... the sad fact is that they are... It amazes me how the guy in the first video reminds me of the friend of Kat's that Cindee's Crazy Psycho-Ex chased out of one of my performance venues and returned with a "side Mirror" as a trophy. He was dick from day one and is a dick to this day.

Those of us that are more educated have to compete on a level playing field with people of this kind of intellect when we choose our President.

SECOND VIDEO: How can you say your vote doesn't count.... PaPaw wants to give beer to 12-year-olds.... and he has 17 younger generational children that thinks PaPaw knows what's right....

I do have to say that, even though the dad was drunk, you could tell how much he loves his son by the montage at the end of the first vdeo...That was sweet... but he still needs to maintain composure and not act like this in front of his kid.

Don't knock the pros...

Here's something only a large handful of celebrities can understand... It ain't easy being them!!!

You know the Star Spangled Banner, right?

You can sing the whole thing all the way through and not miss a beat, right?

Then why is it that professional singers screw it up sometimes ?

This is the first video I've seen that accurately displays the reason why... I know this from experience, having been the Master of Ceremonies at a rodeo arena.

The words that come out of your mouth, are delayed due to the massive echo that it produces in a stadium environment.

You can hear the camera pick up Michael Bolton's natural voice and then hear the delay that is caused by the accoustics of the stadium.

With that type of delay, you could get past the first two lines...

Wanna try it?

I've done this before in order to demonstrate to people how hard it is...

To do this, you will have to have the ability to use two cell phones at one time.

Using one cell phone, call the other cell phone.

Answer the other cell phone, but don't say hello... if you do, you're retarded, because if you will recall, you just called yourself.

Now, put one cell phone to your ear, and talk into the mouthpiece of the other cell phone...

I will even make it easy on you... doing this, just TRY to sing your ABC's..

Now, show an appreciation for artists that do this every day.

The Wrong Way

Mental Note: Don't spend all night in the club on Saturday night and think that anything good is going to happen at 9:43am on Sunday when you're at church.

My Daddy always told me, (and I know there is a more poetic way to say this, but remember, I'm home grown.... so i give it to you raw and you can cook it any way you want) He said, "It is better to have a person think you're a fool, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Now I think that is a quote from Benjamin Franklin.... But then, again, I don't listen to Ben Franklin, do I?

I listen to my Daddy... And, yes, I call him my Daddy even though I am a 34 year old guy... Once someone is your Daddy... they are always your Daddy.

I spent the first 18 years of my life thinking he was an idiot.... I will spend the rest of my life knwing that, in regards to the rest of the world, he is the wisest man I know.

But even now, I remember how odd his teaching styles were, and what they taught me, to be the man that I am, and I hope to raise my boys with the same technigue.

My Daddy taught me to look both ways before crossing the street, and later let go of my bicycle seat while he was running beside me in the MIDDLE of the street and yelled to me as I'm doing 30mph towards a highway intersection, "Remember to use your BRAKES!"

For those of you that know this story, I stopped, just feet from the Highway "T" intersection, by utilizing my instinctual talent, in that I turned the bike into the curb and flipped over the handlebars.

I ended up sprawled on the sidewalk and my Daddy standing over me saying, "You just pedal backwards... that's the brakes."

I thanked him for telling me this for the first time and I rode a bike like a pro from then on.

The Right Way

The Right Way

For Kitty...

This song is for my wife....

if you are watching this video, you will not get it unless you were in the studios of WBSL when this song was playing and a certain DJ was turned on by a certain roommate.

Do yourself a favor and don't watch the video.... just turn up the headphones and remember....

Ciao,

Jim Wallace

Parenting 101

It is important that you begin training you infant in the finer arts of "Hand/Eye Coordination"

The sooner the skills are honed, the easier it will become for the more complex motor skills to develop including crawling, walking, feeding themself, and of course, masturbation.

The most favored method to exercise these skills is demonstrated below... remember no matter what you do during this exercise... do not put a diaper on the baby.
Diapers are dangerous.

Video Ice Cream for The Post Operative Patient

This video is simply meant to make Kat smile...

You give unlimited amounts of ice cream to patients that have their tonsils removed... I wasn't quite sure what the equivalent treat would be for a Quadruple Nail Matrix Cauterization.

If this doesn't make her feel better, my only other choice is to douse her toes with water and sprinkle them with Pop Rocks.

By the way, does anybody agree that they need to bring back the muppet show on something like TvLand or something?

In-Grown Toenail Surgery

Kitty has had some issues with two in-grown toenails for a while now, her podiatrist decided that it would be best to take car of this now, for good.

So, today, she had a toe transplant.

The doctor surgically removed both big toes, and replaced them with transplanted toes from a Three-Toed Sloth.

Ok, maybe not, but I give you that mental immage so that you can further enjoy the video of the procedure she went through this afternoon.

This is not video of her actual procedure on her foot, as you can tell by the ugly feet, but rather another poor sap that had the same procedure performed.

Bear in mind that this guy had only one side done... Kat had both sides of both big toes.

Whatever you do, don't cringe... or flinch.

In-Grown Toenail Surgery

Kitty has had some issues with two in-grown toenails for a while now, her podiatrist decided that it would be best to take car of this now, for good.

So, today, she had a toe transplant.

The doctor surgically removed both big toes, and replaced them with transplanted toes from a Three-Toed Sloth.

Ok, maybe not, but I give you that mental immage so that you can further enjoy the video of the procedure she went through this afternoon.

This is not video of her actual procedure on her foot, as you can tell by the ugly feet, but rather another poor sap that had the same procedure performed.

Whatever you do, don't cringe... or flinch.

Send Them Home ... but please mow my yard before you go.

If a parent committed a crime and was sent to jail, would there be marches to insist that they should not be taken away from their family because the children would suffer?

NEVER!!!

If you are a criminal, you lose your rights as a citizen.

If you are an Illegal immigrant, you are a criminal. You are no different than a bank robber, rapist or murderer.

You break the laws of this country and you will be dealt with.

Get the hell out of my country, and quit sucking on the teet of my tax dollars.

You are not owed, you are not welcome, and how dare you use the freedom given to natural citizens of this country to say that you deserve to be here.

I believe that when the marches that we are seeing again this year, that they should be forced to pass through an Immigration checkpoint in order to march legally.

For those liberals that insist that it is impossible to round up 12 million illegal immigrants... this would prove to be a freakin' buffet.

I am sick and tired of hearing of the marches in every major city in the United States having immigrants gather in the 10's to 500,000 in attendance.
Why are we not marching to support the law?
Do those of us that are law abiding citizens just not care as much as they do???
Why are we not marching???
I agree that every illegal immigrant and anyone that supports them should be deported or penalized, whichever applies.
Why are we not marching???
If this legislation does not pass, it will be a green light for illegals to come on over, there's nothing we'll do to stop them. Why are we not marching???
Many jobs that used to be profitable trades, have become near minimum wage due to illegal immigrants working for less.
Why are we not marching???
Jobs such as machinists, carpenters and aircraft maintenance - YES, the people that bang around on your precious 747 that takes you from point A to point B in your busy day is maintained by many illegals.
Are you thinking of marching now???

The other side needs to be heard...
We need to stand up for our country and say that we will not support you any longer. You will not be a drain on our economy and government.
You will not come here and take jobs out of our citizens hands.
As a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee you that the ones marching aren't even the ones that have come and taken these jobs... why?
They didn't have time because they have a J-O-B.
So that goes to show how many immigrants we have that are such a huge drain on our economy...
In California, 1/2 million people without jobs got together for a huge welfare party.

You are welcome to come in a legal manner, but do it right. If you do it wrong, it is Illegal, illegal, illegal.
You are a criminal the moment you cross that border, and I have no problem treating you as one once you do.

WHY ARE WE NOT MARCHING !!!!!



Let's organize and do this already... pass this link on to everyone you know and make this the forum to get things done. Let our voice be heard !!!!!!!!!

I've decide that Ana is JoAnne (My Aunt) reincarnated befor her time.

Try to not imagine JoAnne singing this on a street corner in San Francisco.

I wish I could have been there with her.

God rest her soul... God knows she wouldn't... LOL

Is it me, or does Ana look a little tipsy on this one.

The Totally Un-Cool Cool Movie

Your kids will roll their eyes as if you were forced to watch "Cool Hand Luke," but then if you watch them as they watch the movie, you'll actually see their feet start to move and they'll be mad when you say it's time to go to bed when the movie is half-way over. The coolest stupid movie you'll ever see.

Have you talked to the Lucas inside you lately?

It's funny, but even if you were the coolest kid in school... you always had a little bit of Lucas in you... and you knew someone who was 100% Lucas... Have you tried to find either one lately?

If you have... congratulations... If not... Why not?

Another Danny's Song

This guy has a lot of potential, just needs some good tone control and he's there.

I love the raw sound of his voice, but he needs to get away from using "Oh," and "yeah" to fill a bridge with vocals.

I would hire him if he made a better stage presance... true, this is a YouTube video, but you sit on a stool on stage just the same.

By the way, sorry about the repeat of another posting, but you just get what i'm thinking about right now... Welcome to The Shadow Zone.... anybody want cookies?

My Future Daughter-In-Law

I can only hope that my boys will hook up with someone as talented as this.

Too bad the boys will only consider her a MILF... [Malinda.... reply after you get up off the floor from your brother's bad humor]

I hope that I can instill in my boys that love is more than a pretty face, but if they qualify, then the world is their oyster. I was lucky to follow my own advice.

When it comes to "The Perfect Woman," I would have to say that she has to have at least two of three criteria that follow...

Sense of Humor..... 40%
Intelligence....... 40%
Looks.............. 20%

OR

Talent............. 100%

My wife was the perfect choice...

She has more than 20% in looks, has my 75% of my sense of humor (which is a sad miracle as Malinda will attest)... and I think that covers my rules.

[An attempt was made to contact myself for comment on what I might have graded her in intelligence. Messages have not yet been returned due to the possibility that, no matter what my answer, it can be used against me in court.]

I can probably not reveal my government sources that tell me that I made the right choice for a wife, but I would really like to thank Cindee, Melody, and Malinda, as well as ..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
and Larry Flynt.
Thank you all for all you do.

If my son finds a girl this talented, I might offer to contribute an extra cocktail per person at the rehearsal dinner.

.................................................................

Pastor: So, Dad, any advice for the groom?

Dad: [Opens Exit Door]
RUN!!!
.................................................................

That is my favorite memory of my wedding day.

Danny's Song

I now have to post an issue for my wife.... This is our song that was our "Pregnancy" song. When I listen to this song it always makes this "Grown Man" cry. I discovered today that I love my family more than life itself. I also discovered that when my wife is crying, I cannot think of anything else but solving the issue that makes her cry. It is always a sobering realization when you remind yourself that you love someone so much that you can get to the point of "insanity" to heal their pain. If you know me, it's ok to ask what I'm talking about... If you don't, it's ok to hug the closest person to you right now.

April Showers Bring Tragedy

It seems odd that it should be this way, but the month of April appears to be the most deadly month throughout history. Even more so in 2007.

Take a look at April today and years gone by...

• The American Revolution (Started with Paul Revere's Ride: April 18-19 April 1775)
• The American Civil War (Started April, 1861, ended April 1865, thus "Across Five Aprils")
• The Bosnian War began in the first days of April, 1992
• The Rwandan Genocide began in April, 1994
• The Armenian Genocide began on April 24, 1915

Other events that have occurred in the month of April include:

• Two deadliest volcanic eruptions in world history: Tambora, Indonesia and Unsen, Japan (April 5, 1815) and (April 1, 1793)
• President Abraham Lincoln's assassination (April 14, 1865)
• The Frank Slide (April 29, 1903)
• The 1906 San Francisco Earthquake (April 18, 1906)
• The sinking of the RMS Titanic (April 14-15 April 1912)
• The Armenian Genocide (April 24, 1915)
• The Deir Yassin Massacre in Palestine (April 9,1948)
• Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination (April 4, 1968)
• Adolf Hitler was born and died on April 20th and April 30th, respectively.
• Jumbo Tornado Outbreak (April 3-4, 1974)
• Woo Bum-Kon spree killing (April 26-27, 1982)
• Chernobyl nuclear accident (April 26, 1986)
• The 1992 Los Angeles Riots after the Rodney King verdict (April 29, 1992)
• The bloody end to the Branch Davidian siege in Waco, Texas (April 19, 1993)
• Kurt Cobain commits suicide (April 5, 1994)
• The Oklahoma City Bombing (April 19, 1995)
• In Lebanon, at least 106 Lebanese civilians are killed when the Israel Defense Forces shell the UN compound at Qana (see Qana Massacre). (April 18, 1996)
• The Port Arthur massacre in Tasmania, Australia (April 28, 1996)
• The Columbine High School massacre in Littleton, Colorado (April 20, 1999)
• The 2007 Virginia Tech massacre in Blacksburg, Virginia (April 16, 2007).
• A man with a hand gun barricades himself in NASA's Johnson Space Center before killing a male hostage and himself. (April 20, 2007)
• Blue Angels plane crashes into a neighborhood during South Carolina air show, killing the pilot and setting homes on fire

What wil we continue to add to the list in the next 9 days......?

Take this poll and then tell your friends to come and vote...

these results will be forwarded to CBS so that they will know if they made the right decision or not.







Remember, after you take this poll, forward the link to this blog to your friends... let's see what America truly thinks.

The Daily Doodle With A Twist

I have never been one that particularly likes public restrooms. They are gross and I just don't like doing my business in a group setting. Today's incident just sets that into stone.

I had barely sat down when I heard a voice from the other bathroom stall saying, "How are you?" I don't know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat embarrassed, "Doin' just fine." And the other person said, "So what are you up to?"

(What kind of a question is that?)

At that point, I was thinking, "This is too bizarre," so I said, "Uh, I'm like you - just sittin' around."

At this point I was just trying to get out as fast as I could when I heard another question.

"Can I come over?"

O.K., this question was just too weird for me, but I figured I could just be polite and end the conversation. I answered: "No. I'm a little busy right now."

Then I heard the person say, nervously: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's an idiot in the next stall who keeps answering all my questions."

Kitty and I contributed to the delinquency of a couple of minors today.

We played hookie with the boys in order to take them on a "Field Trip."

We attended the "Welcome Home a Hero" ceremony at DFW Airport this morning.

I took about 30 some-odd photos and will post a link to them on Friday night.Stupid me lost my cable to my camera that connects to my computer, and my media ports in my tower accepts every possible style of media card EXCEPT "xD"So I will have to wait until I got to work on Friday to upload the photos and then I'll give all the details.

Some hints, though, on what to expect when I DO post on Friday...

Zachary thinks he's a Commanding Officer.
Matthew discovered some new-found shyness.
Kitty likes men in uniform.
Tears came to my Pussy-fied eyes at one point.... I have always been a Macho F***ing Cryer... I hate it, but I am known to be able to kick your ass and in other cases, cry like a baby... how gay is that?

All the details will follow on Friday with PHOTOS.

Stay tuned...

Just a teaser... I have had neighbor that was a gulf war Vet, and after his experience, he needed some serious therapy.

This war is like nothing our boys have ever seen. I don't mean to be rude... but these guys deal with an enemy that has no qualms killing their own.

How do you fight an enemy like that?

We saw this in the eyes of these young men... they were just amazed to be home....

BRING OUR BOYS HOME AND LET THOSE MOTHER F****** KILL EACH OTHER... it is none of our business now... otherwise, turn that region into a waste-land. Have your 70 virgins all you want... I don't even know 70 virgins.

I especially would never be with 70 virgins, of whom their faces I would never see... Somehow, I think a distant cousin would slip in somewhere.

Carry On.

Welcome Home A hero

We will be taking the boys out of school tomorrow for a field trip to DFW airport to welcome home the newest wave of soldiers in Iraq coming home for R&R. Check back with us later for a report and photos. Check out this link on what this is all about

CBS, NBC Suspend Talk Show Host Don Imus for Two Weeks Over Racist Remarks

CBS, NBC Suspend Talk Show Host Don Imus for Two Weeks Over Racist Remarks

Click on the link above to see part of the Imus/Sharpton interview if you don't know what this is referencing.

I just have to say that Al Sharpton needs to clean up his own yard before he gripes about the weeds in his neighbor's.

I think that this is a typical "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" type of issue.
Al Sharpton even went so far as to reference Imus' reference to "jigaboos" that actually comes from a Spike Lee Movie.

WAIT !!! Last time I looked, Spike Lee was of the American-African (and yes, I mean to say American-African, so get used to it) but the last time I looked, Spike Lee was of the American-African persuasion.

American-African rap artists say much worse than what Imus said, yet Al Sharpton does not make a big stink about it. He says that he doesn't agree with it, but he never goes anywhere near trying to pull them down from their success pedestal.

I have never liked Imus. I thought he was arrogant and pompous and simply childish in a lot of ways. But you know what i did? I didn't listen.

See, this goes back to the old "There's two knobs on the radio... one to turn it off and one to change the station" analogy. We are a country of free speech, and no matter how much I disagree with someone's point of view or even the way they express their point of view, they still have a right to say it. I don't care who it offends. If it offends you, don't listen. Imus is not following you around the house talking to you and referring to "Nappy Headed Hos," he's sitting in his studio that broadcasts a signal to your radio... and you can shut him up with one of the two knobs you find there.

Secondly, the words "Nappy" and "Ho" are actually slang words that were created by the American-African community. You create the word, use it in everyday language, but you don't want me to say it, and you are offended when I do?

Screw you!

I believe that a great thing was done when the American-African community was acknowledged for being no worse or no better than any other race. But don't you dare start telling me how I should think or act or speak. I acknowledge your freedoms as my own, don't you dare try to hinder mine.

I have never, in my life, said a discouraging word to or about a person just because they were American-African. Now, if someone were an American-African and was an ass, then yes, i would treat them like an ass for being an ass, not because of the color of their skin.
I have never owned a slave.I have never made someone sit at the back of the bus or drink from a different water fountain or be served at the back door of a restaurant.

I don't owe you anything.

You should only expect the same thing from me as I expect from you.

Equal treatment.

I don't pitch a fuss when you throw out words, so put on a jacket or something because if you are going to go through life with skin no thicker than what you have now, then you are in for a world of hurt because I am not changing who I am to suit you.

You are my equal... and with that comes the responsibility to act like an equal and live up to the maturity standards of an adult and not go running to the teacher when little bobby calls you a poopy head.

So, to all the poopy heads out there, be they white, black, brown, or Neopolitan, tell Al Sharpton to stay out of this until he gets the same type of insulting language out of the media that Spike Lee and others of his persuasion put out there themselves. Better yet, let the "artists," of which there are very few these days no matter what the race, let them say what they want.

Let Imus say what he wants.

Let me say what I want.

Hell, Al, say what you want.

But for right now, I think what you're saying is bullshit, so... watch this... I'm changing the channel... I'm sure theres a charming episode of the Brady Bunch on somewh---

+++ Shadow has changed the channel .... what are your thoughts on the issue? Leave a comment +++

Anna Nicole Autopsy

Being in the News business as I am, responsible for Closed Captioning, I am SO sick and tired of Anna Nicole Smith. But I must now do my part to put this puppy to rest.
I'm thinking that if I post the following, spit in the dirt, swirl the resulting mud in a counter-clockwise motion while humming the Sponge Bob Square Pants theme song... maybe this ghost will go away.

Oh, by the way, if you really want to examine the autopsy results closely, just click on each page and you will see the full size version... if you must.

LOL... my favorite part was the finding that her anus was "unremarkable"... LOL... That's not what Larry Birkhead said... maybe he's not the father of Dannielynn after all.

Have had your RDA of T&A today?

Never speak, unless you're spoken too... Dag Nabit !!

Why I Don't live in Lake Tahoe... Though, I would love too.

Those of you that are "City Folk"

Those of you that are "City Folk"... you don't realize what we deal with in the country... We've got cut CUDDLY rabbits.... want one?

I wish I could go back and write my own vows now...

Ask Your Doctor If This Medication Is Right For You...

If I could live this long, I would be amazed...

It would be wrong to laugh....

But, then again... how can you resist ???

At the Bama Breeze... I loved to act the fool down there.

I feel that I have always had more than my fair share of the "15 minutes of Fame" we're all supossed to have... Despite my obvious Radio exposure, I am a "native" of George W. Bush's Home Town, I knew Laura Bush from the Midland Public Library,

I've hobknobed with bands such as the Eagles, Chicago and White Snake, Interviewed Ed McMahon... whose check bounced, by the way, and many other Who's who folks around...

I've interviewed many "smaller" people that were much more interesting or worthy of air time than those mentioned above, but the one person I have never met is Jimmy Buffet... but he visited a place that my wife and I used to call home and decided to make his Bama Breeze video at our old hang out... The Red Dog Saloon... which was recently gutted during Hurricane Katrina...

Seeing the old stomping grounds in ruins brought a tear to my eye... not because of the structure lost, but of the memories that it still held in the ribcage of it's skeleton. The song is wonderful, and makes me want to go back to that time... just to put make-up on Rusty while he's sleeping on the toilet.

If you understand what I'm saying in that regard, you know this post was meant for you.... otherwise... just imagine a guy that rarely got so drunk, he fell asleep on the toilet... ALOT!!!

The video is here... if you ever get at chance to get down to Bay St. Louis, MS... once they rebuild... stop in at the Red Dog Saloon ... and check out the women's bathroom stall.

Hey, Kat... remember that pool table?

Not Much - But A Little

I would never intrude on my permission, but I hope that by a little "push" and a little "fixin" that you get back into your blog.

Hoping that this "post" will get you back in the groove. Don't delete me as an author, just wanted to say hi... I will never post again without an invitation.

Check out the new features though...the labels are cool...

"If I Did It" Please Shoot Me

Ok... WAIT !!
I have to yell "BULLSHIT" whenever I see a bull with shit under him.

O.J. Simpson's unpublished "book" is now being auctioned off. By FRED GOLDMAN... Ron Goldman's father. Get the whole story HERE.

I have always stood by the Goldman family because they were in court fighting to bring down the man that allegedly murdered their son. I have to say allegedly in order to keep things orderly. In my opinion, O.J. did it.

I supported the Goldman's because they fought hard to bring down the man that had taken their son's life. It did not work out in the criminal trial, so the only other recourse was to make his life as miserable as legally possible by making him live the life of a pauper... like... me... WAIT A MINUTE!!!

Anyway, I applauded their fight against the publication of O.J.'s book, entitled "If I Did It". This made sense, since Simpson would profit from his crime. That was a justified action on their part since any parent who has lost a child to a murderous animal should have the right to make the perpetrators life as miserable as hell.

The publication was cancelled and all was good. Good for you Mr. Goldman. You stood by your morals and kept this evil man from perpetrating another vile deed.

I find it disturbing how Mr. Rogers can suddenly turn into a money grubbing pig.

The purpose of the civil trial was to come up with another way to punish Simpson. It was not, as we assumed, about the money.

Apparently, it was.

Through the actions of Mr Goldman and a public outcry, the publication was axed.

Now Mr. Goldman is going to do the same thing that O.J. was going to do?!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Goldman has now shown his true colors... If he sells the rights to this book, he is no better than O.J.....

"The Goldmans were horrified as to the content, but the real horror was that Simpson was profiting," Goldman's lawyer, David Cook, said.
"O.J. is now on the block. On the right hand we get to sell the book, and on the left we get the money."

He is pretty much much pissing on his son's grave for the almighty dollar.

It is sad to say, but it would have been a teeny bit better to let O.J. profit from the proceeds, and then have it taken away... but not much better.

Mr. Goldman's fight to find justice for his beloved son, has turned into nothing but a rush to make as much money as he can.

Mr. Goldman, I feel for your son, were he able to see what you have become.

Imagine... you were murdered, and were able to see the just fight that your father made to bring justice to the perpetrator, only to see him counting the gold at the kitchen table and chuckling all the while.

May I be more of a Father.

Takin' 'Em Out PAST The Woodshed !!!

The Texas House passed House Bill 8 yesterday by a vote of 118 to 23. Among other things, the bill would require a MANDATORY 25-year prison sentence to Child Sex Offenders and would expand the death penalty to repeat child sex offenders, even if no life is taken. I'm not even going to go into what the 23 House Members were thinking that voted against this Bill, but at least it is a victory for many and a savior to many more. The only valid argument that I have seen argued against this type of law is that a child molester would be further inclined to murder his victim. The thinking behind this is that if he kills his victim, his odds of being caught are diminished since there is (possibly) no witness... and his odds remain the same of getting the death penalty, and are still reduced in regards to getting caught. If you want any justification for the new law, just look at your local Sex Offender Database and see how many child molesters live near you and only got off with probation. You can check that here... http://www.familywatchdog.us/ Remember, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer.

Driving With Drunks 03.04.2007

Ok, after being at my new job for almost six months... I feel I have a unique subject to write about. I quit DJ-ing in clubs 4 years ago so that i could get a "real job" and spend more time with my family. Now i have a job that still has me leaving the office @ 2am, when the bars close - my old schedule working in them - but now I travel 30 minutes on the freeway with drunks of all types. Now don't get me wrong... I enjoy the occasional cocktail or two ... or 12, but I have a strict rule that I will not drive even if I've had one beer. Now, I have not always been this way. When i was younger, I often drove quite intoxicated and even boasted about the many roadside sobriety test I passed when I knew I was drunk. But I became wise after one scare and made the vow to never DUI again. That was a week after 9/11 and I have not driven since, if I've even had 1 drink. But these days, as I drive home on a commute that lasts from 2am to 2:30am, I see these idiots put everybody's life in danger. I have to admit, the local 911 operators probably know my cell phone number by heart by now since I've assisted in the capture of DUI offenders that I have led police too. I haven't done this to be a narc... but rather, if I had not intervened, these guys may have killed themselves as irratically as they were driving. I ignore the occasional weave or "crossing of the line"... it's the guys that bounce off concrete barriers and keep going that I report. Tonight was the Grandaddy of them all though. I'm travelling down the freeway at 60mph... the freeway curves and I see a vehicle with it's brake-lights on, apparently on the side of the road. This is a 3 lane freeway, and being in the right hand slow lane, I move over to the center lane as a precautionary measure. Now, as I said, the freeway was curving, and as I enter the curve, I notice this pick-up that is stopped on the side of the freeway is actually not on the side of the freeway but, rather, in the center lane. Stopped... brake lights shining... IN MY LANE !!!! I swerve to miss, and immediately look at the traffic behind me as there was nobody in front of me... I see a FLOOD of headlights and anticipate the worst. I simultaneously grab my cell phone, and find the nearest exit as I dial 911. I expect to see a pile up behind me at any second. I get the 911 operator on the line and give her the location of the vehicle and inform her that I am trying to swing back around to approach the vehicle at a safe distance. Come to find out, I have to backtrack on a service road for two miles in order to make the loop. The operator says that she will have officers dispatched to the scene. In the meantime, i disconnect with her and pull up on the vehicle.... amazingly still stopped in the middle lane of a busy freeway... engine running... with the brake lights on. I pull well off of the shoulder to avoid what I am sure is going to be a very bad ending if some of the occasional drunks happen to pass by and not notice the pretty bright red lights that aren't moving, yet actually getting quite bigger... and closer. Traffic is quite heavy and amazingly speedy despite the hazard. I see the driver in the vehicle.... sleeping. I grabbed a handfull of gravel from the shoulder and pelt the pick-up with it. I do this again and again... no response. I was about ready to go ahead and grab bigger rocks and just bust the poor chap's window rather than dodge traffic to wake him. Just then, I saw flashing lights, and an ambulance pulled up right behind the truck with lights blaring... the passenger asked if i had called, which i acknowledged. He yelled that they would keep it under control and that I should move on, should something happen. I did... they did... and fortunately... hopefully... some sorry bloke may live to learn not to drive after he's had his fair share of Cock Ass... I mean, tails... Cocktails. I almost always have some kind of thing like this happen, though not as extreme as tonight's... so I will now maintain a log of the "Driving With Drunks" chronicled as they happen.... other than tonight's... many are quite funny. Remember folks... Don't drink and drive... you're better off just taking the chance that he'll catch you banging his girlfriend. I'll let you think about that one for a while... I need a Cock Ass.

Cloning Successful

Chinese scientists have not only announced a mass human cloning project, but have just released proof of it's success.

100 healthy clones have been sucessfully bred and matured.

What has been startling to the scientists is that all 100 clones share a common mentality and sense of humor with the DNA donor used to harvest the DNA needed for this process.

I am pleased to announce that I am that donor.

Somewhere in China, there are 100 copies of ME, doing exactly what I would do if you got 100 copies of me together at one time.

http://www.liveleak.com/player.swf" width="450" height="370" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" flashvars="autostart=false&token=23652059f1" scale="showall" name="index" />

Chinese scientists have not only announced a mass human cloning project, but have just released proof of it's success. 100 healthy clones have been sucessfully bred and matured. What has been startling to the scientists is that all 100 clones share a common mentality and sense of humor with the DNA donor used to harvest the DNA needed for this process. I am pleased to announce that I am that donor. Somewhere in China, there are 100 copies of ME, doing exactly what I would do if you got 100 copies of me together at one time.

I Can't Believe This Is Real... But It Is !!!! GOOGLE IT !!!

Should Illegal Drugs Be Taxed? Tuesday, Jan. 16, 2007 By Clayton Newman Tennessee's Unauthorized Substances Tax requires anyone in possession of a certain quantity of contraband to buy a tax stamp and affix it to the drug. Tennessee Department of Revenue In April of 2005, Jeremy Robbins was arrested attempting to traffic two tons of marijuana from Arizona to East Tennessee. Indicted on federal drug conspiracy charges, Robbins was soon assessed a $1.1 million fine from Tennessee's Department of Revenue. The reason: failure to comply with the state's Unauthorized Substances Tax, which requires anyone in possession of a certain quantity of contraband — in the case of marijuana, more than 42.5 grams — to buy a tax stamp from the state government and affix it on the drug. The so-called "crack tax" applies to controlled substances like marijuana and cocaine, and also illicit alcoholic beverages like moonshine. It allows someone to anonymously purchase stamps in person from the Department of Revenue based on the type and amount of the substance ($3.50 for a gram of marijuana, $50 for a gram of cocaine, etc.) with the understanding that doing so cannot be used against them in a criminal court. Posessing drugs is still illegal — the tax works completely outside the criminal justice system. A stamp cannot provide immunity from criminal prosecution, and a conviction of possession isn't required for the Department of Revenue to assess the penalties. Of the 726 stamps sold so far (some to collectors as novelty items), none have turned up during a seizure. The penalty for not having a stamp can exceed 10 times the original cost — and the Department of Revenue concedes that the tax was instituted with the expectation that most dealers won't buy the stamp. "Dealers can do it either way," says Assistant Commissioner for Operations Sam Chessor. "But in reality, the payoff for us is going to be on the back end, not the front end. " And what a payoff: since the tax was enacted in 2004 it has netted Tennessee $3.5 million in extra revenue, 75% of which goes directly to the enforcement agencies that carry out the drug busts. Still, some opponents argue that adding such steep penalties on top of criminal charges amounts to a second punishment, and thus a violation of double jeopardy law. "Aside from this incredible acrimony and bill-collecting mentality," says Knoxville attorney Gregory P. Isaacs, "you are divested of all your constitutional rights." For that reason, a Davidson County chancellor last summer ruled the tax unconstitutional, and stopped the state from collecting Robbins' $1.1 million. But the Department of Revenue, confident the ruling will be overturned on appeal, is continuing with the assessments. Says Deputy Commissioner Reagan Farr, "It's fine to have a criminal and a regulatory scheme running in tandem. We've made sure our statute is purely regulatory, not punitive." But no matter how you define it, the bottom line for Tennessee is that crime pays.

It's RED !!!!

This just makes you wonder... at what point did this Dad completely lose it as a father?

I gave advice to a friend of mine that was having a problem with her daughter keeping her room like a pig sty and not taking care of the nice things she had.
I told my friend the following.

"When she's at school one day, go into her room and remove EVERYTHING and either store it in the garage or in a small storage unit.
Leave nothing in her room but her bed and 7 suits of clothes (One for each day of the week). Store everything, phone, computer, television, video games, drapes (leave the blinds) dresser, nightstand, etc... Nothing should remain but a bed and 7 suits of clothes.
Keep it this way for a month.
This way, she can learn to appreciate what she has, and get a feel for what it's like for those that aren't as blessed as she.
Explain to her why you've done this, and that she will get her things back in a month.
If, after she gets her frills back, there is not a change in behavior, all the "toys" are gone for good. Then if she wants the better things in life, she can do odd jobs and earn the money to buy them herself."

This worked like a charm.

I think it would have even worked if she had just left everything else where it was in the room and just limited her daughter to 7 suits of clothes. That was what she complained about the most. She whined that it made her look "poor."
I think the message got through.

Carry on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0_36mXx-mw